Jonathon Kilpatrick
Jonathon "Johnny Pipes" Kilpatrick is a Dead Rising 2 survivor and one of the four Tape It Or Die bloggers.This is Embarrassing, Tape it or Die, (July 16, 2010). Refers to Johnny and Johnathon He is the owner of JP Plumbing in the town of Costa Mesa.Johnny Pipes, #Liveblogging: Can't Think of a Good Title, Tape it or Die Blog, (August 8, 2010). He reappears in Dead Rising 2: Off the Record with the same role. Johnny was buying nachos when the Terror is Reality breach occurred. He got separated from the others. In his blog he said he would spend the night in "Prospect Park", which according to a later blog is Fortune Park.Kilpatrick, Johnny, Benches Ain't For Sitting! They're for Working! So Let's Get to Work! Tape it or Die, (August 23, 2010). "Take Prospect Park, for one. There's three workbenches around there. In a park! What's the rationale? "That tree's lookin' a bit shabby. Let's fine-tune it!" But I'm not complaining! Now, of the three, I'd say my favorite is the one right in the far southeast corner. Right next to the entrance to the Atlantica Casino." With this image: http://www.tapeitordie.com/sites/default/files/blogimages/image_78.jpg Personality Johnny's blogs indicates that he lacks empathy towards others and has an extreme love of violence: :In reference to Fortune City after the outbreak, "This place is paradise! Okay, maybe not a Polynesian-style paradise. Or a gangsta's paradise. Instead, it's just a kinda feel-good paradise. Kinda like Pleasure Island from Pinocchio. Except no donkey transformation. That'd suck...Where else can you just take a sword from somebody's store? Without paying for it? And then use that sword to slice that store owner in half. And be considered a hero for it? Or shooting cops with their own guns. Again, I'm the hero. And I don't even need diplomatic immunity. That's paradise."Kilpatrick, Johnny. Hey folks! Johnny Pipes here!, Tape It Or Die, (September 23, 2010). :" I walk up to the zombie. I smile at it (to be polite). Then smash its head in. What a rush! A bit messy, but exhilarating! So, I figure I the show's over. I should leave. But there's more zombies in my way! Let me tell you, it redefined the word "joygasm"." Zombie Breach Johnny wrote a hilarious blog during the breach: You'll never guess what happened! Well, maybe you will. Might have been on the news. Not sure; stuff's not working here. But there was a bomb! Zombies got out. Started attacking everyone. Bunch of people dying. Ain't that a kick? I was getting nachos when the bomb went off. Well, in line to get nachos. I hear the explosion. Then the screams. Everyone's looking at the TVs hung up on the wall. Not much to see; it's gone all static. (So I miss the explosion. Bummer, that.) Then the people start running. All over the place. People in line start running, too. I figure this is my chance to get my nachos. But no! The son-of-a-bitch concessionaire shuts that metal grate thing on me. I tell him to give me some nachos, or at least a can of Red Bull. He doesn't. Instead, he just closes some wooden panels behind the grate. So yeah. I never got my nachos. What a pisser! In fact, that was the worst part about all last night. Anyhoo, I go to the bathroom. After all, I'm up anyway. No line, either. Everyone's running. So, I do my thing. Wash my hands. And I see it out of the corner of my eye. A zombie walks by the bathroom door. Little gears whir in my head. I reach under the sink. Twist off the couplings. (A good plumber can do that without tools.) Rip out the pipe. Give it a quick inspection. 5/8" inner diameter. Lead (odd; that's been illegal for 40 years). I walk up to the zombie. I smile at it (to be polite). Then smash its head in. What a rush! A bit messy, but exhilarating! So, I figure I the show's over. I should leave. But there's more zombies in my way! Let me tell you, it redefined the word "joygasm". Long story short, I made it out of there. And more than a few zombies died by that pipe alone. Semper Fi, good pipe! Thing is, there's still boatloads of zombies still around. Like the whole town got infected in a few hours. And they're so killable, and it's so satisfying! It's like murder, but legal! So, yeah. This place is totally dead now. And yet, it feels more alive somehow. I do wonder about everyone else, though. It'd kinda suck if all my TIOD buddies were dead, y'know? Anyhoo, I found a good place to hole up. Nice and cozy. If anyone's still alive - and reading this - you're welcome to join me. I'll be in Prospect Park tonight. At the middle point. Around midnight or so. Probably a lot of zombies. Oh, and this part pains me: no plumbing services for a bit, guys. Gonna be occupied. Kilpatrick, Johnny. The Low-Down on the Haps!, Tape it or Die, (August 12, 2010). Tape It or Die 1 & Tape It or Die 2 Inventions Johnny invented the: # Laser Sword # Blitzkrieg Trivia *He has the same/similar model as Kirby Wilkinson, Tim Duggan as well as several dead spectators in the Arena. *Johnny Pipes real phone number is 1-949-478-3949. When the number is called, the recording says, *:"Hey folks thanks for calling Johnny Pipes Plumbing. This is Johnny Pipes. Unfortunately the plumbing service will be postponed for a while. I'm in Fortune City, lots of zombies everywhere, gotta focus on survival, sorry about that. I'll get back with you as soon as I am free and I am safe and I am alive. Look gotta go." * BEEP* *:949 is an area code in California that is contained mostly within the southern areas of Orange County. *Johnny Pipes Tape it or Die profile has four zombie pinup pictures found on the www.zombiepinups.com/gallery/ site. *In the PC file items.txt Johnny Pipes is listed as srv_matt. Gallery Johnny.gif|Johnny Pipes' blog image Johnny Pipes Avatar.jpg|avatar from the TiR live blog. Johnny pipes.png Dead rising johnny k notebook.png|Notebook entry. PortraitJonathonKilpatrick.png|Notebook portrait. Dead rising johnny k.png Dead rising johnny k full.png References Category:Tape it or Die Characters Category:Dead Rising 2 Survivors Category:Dead Rising 2 Characters Category:Dead Rising 2: Off the Record Characters Category:Dead Rising 2: Off the Record Survivors Category:Determinant